not so silent

Putting down, stopping, giving back, to receive the new. One thing I have learnt or relearnt. Not being able see the obvious way forward should not result in apathy, rejection or abandonment. In the not seeing I have had to learn or relearn Patience, prayer and that very unfashionable perseverance. In my new role on the team of Spiritual Directors in the Worcester Diocese I have been reading much about prayer. Anthony Bloom wrote about the need for Israel to live a new life after exiting Egypt and finding themselves in the new land. They were not good at this. Exodus 14:12  & 16.3. What they were good at was looking back yearning for the old ways. This was a light bulb moment and I don't get many. I felt or discerned a direction to put things down, to stop, to give things back. This would allow me to see what God would give me back (if anything). Firstly i withdrew my PTO for Birmingham Diocese, severing a 40 year relationship. Then I stopped going to my local An...

A small indicator that tells you your home.

I was and still am very unsure whether to post this blog. I still may regret it. I have always understood myself as strong male working-class urban solder normally ready for the conflict of the day. I used to say to my congregation occasionally if you knew me when I was 21 you would not like me. In my youth I was one half of the union rep who would go and bang on the managers desk for what seemed at the time important and usually unjust reasons. I once remember going to my manager and he giving bad news, my response was to say ‘that’s not fair!’ His response - ‘Who told you life was fair?’ I say this as a short introduction to my character. I am not like John the Beloved, quiet and reflective (but that is changing).   I am more like Peter; impetuous, verbal, quick to promise, quick to react, but passionate for the cause. But there is a cost to being passionate and outspoken. The flip side for me is darkness and depression. Rejection of something you believe in your...

  As Erin and I walked through the park the other day, we both agreed it was an interesting time to be back in Birmingham. There is a lot of water, and therefore mud, in the boggy park, and the dead leaves crushed on the floor remind us that winter is behind us. We reflected that it is a good time to be home, because spring is about new things, with roots going deeper and colour emerging. We both felt our season with Mercy Air had come to a close and it was time to move back to Birmingham, to be close to children, grandchildren, wider family and friends.   All of whom we missed much more than we thought we would. We are living in Moseley, Birmingham, and making contact with family and friends again (as much as restrictions allow). We have no idea what happens next, but as a friend reminded me the other day, ‘God will provide’. During the transition from South Africa to Birmingham we have experienced so much of God’s providence, and the generosity and care of his people. ...

  I want to say a big Thank You, to all the Mercy Air people, who we said goodbye to, after our 8 year association with  MA, including 3 years living on the farm.  We thank you for the beautiful photos of the staff who we have worked with, and the many generous words shared, some of which I will carry with me forever. I  have some amazing memories to take with me, especially working with the Pastors in Mozambique, and with my team on the farm. Thank you for the gift of the Baobab tree print. When we find our home here in the UK ,we will send pictures to show it to you in its pride of place.

One of the things we started in SA was to take the The Times on line whatever you politics it just keeps us informed of home. the result is I have started writing in the comments back to the articles this is one such. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/comment/covid-complacency-threatens-south-africa-mj92xzlsr It's difficult to know how to comment on this article. I think the writer was from SA but lives in the UK now, my home. There have been so many times I have wanted to write back to my people and say how bad things are here but I read the UK press and see the chaos at home. I think it's too early to tell the long term effects of Covid anywhere even here in SA. What I see is that more people will die of starvation and other diseases in SA in the next 2 years than Covid. Covid did not bring the government hospitals into the state mentioned many have been like that for a long time. If you're not SA you are often turned away from the hospital.  In the township I'm conn...

What a great morning. Well let’s start before As you know on the rear of a John Deere 2140 tractor it has a shaft running through the width of the PTO. Attached to this shaft are two arms which rise up and down via the PTO allowing the trailer or slasher to be operated at the correct height. But for a good while we have had an oil leak from both seals on the said shaft, both sides of the PTO casing.  Bearing in mind it costs R750 for 20 litres of 20/40 multi use oil. Are you still with me? Great. Vusie one of my team and the main pilot of the John Deere took it into his head to take the right-hand lifting arm from the shaft. Thus forcing my hand to get it fixed!!  So today we, Vusie, Moses and meself became the dream JD team a bit like the Formula 1 pit stop team.  We realised after shifting the shaft the seal was a combination of a felt seal inserted into a grove and a plastic washer to keep the dust out, a modification. A short trip to a new loca...

Today started well, watching the sun lick the land into a new fresh colour. But as the colour fixed itself to the land a storm blew in…When I get a bit down, blue, frustrated (more could be added), I can veer towards moaning and I am at that age, so it’s a perfect storm!  Recently I found myself singing the praises of someone who lives here in White River, not moaning but that will come. One Saturday Erin and I went to a car boot sale. Yes, we live life on the edge! It does not take me long: no magazines, no tools, no CDs. ‘I’m off for breakfast love’ and I leave Erin to it, by mutual agreement of course. ‘Yogurt, granola and fresh fruit’, seeing as you asked.  The following week a local restaurant organised a special evening meal deal, so we and friends went along, it was a great change for us as we never go out in the evening. ‘Indian food’, seeing as you asked.  A week later, Erin received the weekly WhatsApp information for the local independent cinema: Ho...

There are some things in life here I have been very pleased with. One of those is a small boast, that since we left the UK we have not been to the doctors, that’s 2 and a half years. That’s not a small achievement as we are both moving beyond the 60-land mark coupled with the amount of travel we have done in malaria areas, tag into that those general tummy upsets that seem more regular here. We have consulted the local ASM nurses and obviously a huge dose of God’s grace. We also planned to be back in the UK for a short period to get a local doctor and dentist to give us an MOT. Well that hope came to a slow but grinding halt recently.   We have been learning what it means to seek medical support and advice outside the NHS which is an interesting experience. To find a doctor here we rely on other people's recommendations and all have different opinions and experiences. Once the doctor is identified the first question the receptionist asked is do you have medical aid...

  If you know me, you will be aware I am not an economist, but we are all economists when its comes to balancing a budget whether its small like mine or humongous like South Africa’s. This week here in SA we have what is called a mini Budget or the MTBPS. Some information to set up the situation here. It is generally agreed that 2.2 million people lost their jobs in SA in the 2 nd quarter this year. But what is also important to know is that 1 job = 5 dependents, many of these newly unemployed will be low skill low paid with no savings. When a job is lost there is no food in the cupboard and the hit on family life is immediate. So the budget, here are some of the figures that form the difficulties around the budget. We have had in South Africa the most stringent lockdown anywhere in the world. So the lead up to this budget is not a good one. South Africa has the privilege of having its own airline SAA which has a fleet of 16 Airbus aircraft to put that into perspective Briti...

  Not to long after moving onto the farm at Marcy Air Erin and I realised the farm itself felt like a faded jewel.   We began praying about what we should do if anything. One thing became clear was the possibility of a prayer walk around the farm via a series of prayer stations. We have lots of space some amazing views much of Gods creation speaks to us of his wonder when we allow it time and space in our lives.   I am not sure if it was a vision or just a good idea or even a whisper from God, but we settled on creating 12 prayer stations around the farm. Hopping this would assist us who live here but perhaps more so visiting missionaries who stay with us. That this prayer journey around the farm in a sort of guided manor may help others to see and hear Gods guidance. Erin and I identified where we believed prayer station number two was to be. It is just around the corner from our house next to the irrigation canal. On Friday morning I began a conversation with my farm ...

 had a reasonable amount of fun Sunday morning at church. I was invited to deliver the word. I have obviously spent many years preaching to a congregation whether they like it or not. As a pastor vicar role there is a certain relationship you have with your congregation, you are called to lead then on a journey together hopefully. My role here in South Africa is different and that was part of the attraction of the church Erin and I attend now called Salt. The church does not have any paid leadership and I am not on the leadership team and it has been an interesting time after spending so many years as a responsible church leader. I am invited to share the word and sometimes the leading of communion. I now take the role in preaching as someone on a Christian journey and share some of my journey with my brothers and sisters, it feels more personally revealing, possibly more risky.  This Sunday I shared how I have three scripture readings on the wall of my workshop. They are ther...

Some of you may have detected I have been a bit church E, not overly religious, but over my lifetime have seemed to be drawn towards church. I do not know why this pull I have not always liked it, its not always liked me, I have often disagreed with it, it often disagrees with me. But still the pull is there. Sometimes I have been on the edge of church, other times I have been at the centre of its activities. I remember my first sabbatical (thank you Bishop David and Mark) I was driving away from Pype Hayes the weight of the responsibility falling away was an eminence freedom, thinking for the next three months I am not responsible for this church, on reflection it was like being saved again. Saved from the church. But I went back pulled back. This Sunday morning was first church service after the South Africa lockdown began, we are down to level 2 now. We met in our friend’s garden. Bring your own chairs, coffee, flask, mask, bible this is church paired down.  But, and here is my ...

When we started to build our Farm Workshop, I was not to sure what we would be repairing inside it , we have ride on mowers, slashers, tractors, brush cutter broken and damaged furniture. But today Erin delivered to me our first wheelchair, it belongs to a 6-year-old young lady called Confidence. Her mom Daphne is part of the Msholozi nursing team who care for those on the edge of society, not able to afford doctors or not welcome at the hospitals. There are no tar roads on Msholozi, and the chair takes a battering on the sand roads.  So my apprentice and I get stuck in pulling, pushing, banging, straightening and of course adjusting the jiggle pin on the up shaft allowing the rear shaft to align with the pishcon drive. (yes some of that is made up) So when you have on the wall of your workshop ‘love your neighbour’, and the neighbour needs her wheelchair fixing it’s a good opportunity to love you neighbour and get fixing.       .   

You may remember I told of my first adventures on retreat here in South Africa, well we have just been on another retreat same place but with Erin my wife! first time ever.  https://www.idwalaretreat.co.za/ It has been quite challenging here at MA for a while so some perspective was needed not so much retreat as in pull back, but charge forward into Gods presence for a concentrated time, we found a window (God given) to travel in the province.   So once again we travelled to Belfast a little more aware of what and who I was going to, the advice we were given "it will be cold". What God whispers into your life on a retreat is not usually for public consumption, but I would like to share the structure and rhythm.   We were hosted by Heidi and Hermann who own and run the center. Their lives and the rhythm of prayer are base around The Society of St Francis and they are both Anglicans. The day began with Eucharist at 7:30, midday prayer at 12 and eveni...