not so silent

I was and still am very unsure whether to post this blog. I still may regret it. I have always understood myself as strong male working-class urban solder normally ready for the conflict of the day. I used to say to my congregation occasionally if you knew me when I was 21 you would not like me. In my youth I was one half of the union rep who would go and bang on the managers desk for what seemed at the time important and usually unjust reasons. I once remember going to my manager and he giving bad news, my response was to say ‘that’s not fair!’ His response - ‘Who told you life was fair?’ I say this as a short introduction to my character. I am not like John the Beloved, quiet and reflective (but that is changing).   I am more like Peter; impetuous, verbal, quick to promise, quick to react, but passionate for the cause. But there is a cost to being passionate and outspoken. The flip side for me is darkness and depression. Rejection of something you believe in your very cor